Joy In December
Welcome to December!! In celebration of these last 31 days of 2021, I’m challenging myself (and you, if you’re up for it) to finish this year differently.
For the past several years I have spent a good deal of this month dreaming and planning for the year to come. Setting goals, creating strategies and to-do lists. All of which I have learned from. I enjoy the planning process a great deal but for the past several weeks I have felt a need to change things up. Truth is, what I’ve been doing, isn’t working. Well, not anymore.
I want to be a landscape photographer. I have been in the process of launching my business, Fence Row Photography, for almost 5 years now. I had no idea that starting a business meant I would be opening a pandora’s box of fear and self-doubt…digging up old traumas…combing through hurt and regret…laying it all out to be seen and heard so that I can heal and let go.
On April 17, 2017, I walked out of the Warren County Recorder’s office with a smile and a legal looking document in my hand. I had registered my business name. I could now begin in earnest to launch Fence Row Photography. I had an official logo. I was taking a course on starting a photography business. What could stop me now? What I didn’t know and what no one was really talking about at the time, is that starting a business or any new adventure for that matter, requires much more than knowledge and a willingness to work long hours. Being an entrepreneur requires perseverance and an ability to walk through your fear and overcome doubt. It requires confidence and courage.
My life has been riddled with a host of events that could probably afford a good therapist a modest vacation to Greece. I, however, choose to bury most of it and believe the adage that if I just ignored it, it would go away or work itself out. I also know that despite it all, I have been fortunate and very blessed. Many millions, even billions have had it far worse. Who am I to complain or feel sorry for myself?
Here is the reality. I lacked the confidence and belief in myself. I had the courage and perseverance, but I didn’t know that until I began to unearth my past and see all that I had overcome.
It was a shock to realize it had been so long since that day at the Recorders office but when I think about these last five years and what I have done professionally but more importantly, personally…I could not be prouder. I needed this time to uncover, heal and let go of my past.
I want to be a landscape photographer because throughout my life, especially those parts I tried so hard to bury, there has always been beauty. My memories are still full of it…laughter, friendships, warmth and yes, landscapes…scenes from my childhood, long gone but still vivid in my mind. They were gifts given to help me cope…a big, beautiful willow tree I could hide under, sterling white snowbanks and warm summer sunsets.
Now, instead of spending the month of December looking ahead, I think it’s time to rest. I do have big plans for 2022, and I will get to that, but you cannot pour from an empty glass. What better season to fill your cup, then the celebration of the birth of Christ? For the next 30 days my aim is to focus on JOY. What is it? What brings me joy? How can I share it? How has this past year, or five years brought me closer to joy? I’m going to be completely honest; I have no idea how this is going to play out. It is just what is on my heart, and I need to follow it. If you’re wanting to follow along, I will be posting to social using #foundjoy2021. If you too are in a season of needing to reflect, rest and restore, and you feel compelled, share your journey along with me by using the same hashtag.
Let’s finish this year with more than a list of goals or resolutions. Let’s finish it with gratitude and a whole lot of joy!
Find the beauty in your everyday.
