5 Lessons in Goal Setting
For the past four years I have spent a good part of the month of December working through a process of setting goals. It began when I was introduced to PowerSheets by Lara Casey. I absolutely love PowerSheets, but I will be completely honest, those first couple of years were not what I had hoped for. Turns out, I had a lot to learn about goals. This year when I received my beautiful new PowerSheets I felt like I was finally becoming a pro. To be fair, I have definitely made strides and have a much better grasp on goal setting but any time I would look at my finished list of goals I felt…underwhelmed. Surely these were not the goals that were going to lead to me living my dream life. A couple of days before the new year I pulled out the beautiful spiral bound planner and gave my goals one more chance to impress me. According to Dictionary.com, a goal is the result or achievement toward which effort is directed. My problem was not my goals. My problem was me, and it is my hope that these lessons might help you bypass some of the pitfalls that I realize I have fell into.
LESSON #1: Progress Not Perfection!
I’m sure, if you’ve been attempting to set resolutions or goals in the past that you have heard this phrase. Here’s the thing; IT’S ABSOLUTELY TRUE!! Keep reminding yourself of it. Write it on a post-it and keep it in on your computer or bathroom mirror. Once you understand that goals are not about setting the perfect goal and thinking that you now have to accomplish that goal, perfectly…then the pressure is off and you can feel free to do your best and celebrate whatever progress you do make.
Assignment: Write “Progress Not Perfection” on a post-it and put it somewhere you will see it everyday.
LESSON #2: Progress Not Procrastination!
I cannot tell a lie. Procrastination is my nemesis. For years I convinced myself that I did better under pressure. That was why I always put things off to the last minute. Truth is, I am a procrastinator because I am afraid that I’m going to fail. Procrastination is an excuse. So do not misunderstand TIP #1. You absolutely need to do the work. Celebrate the small wins but do not become complacent.
Assignment: Make a list of things you’ve been putting off. Then pick one thing on the list that you’re going to do this week. Decide on a small reward or a way to celebrate. If you’re into social media post a photo of you celebrating and use #progressnotprocrastination.
LESSON #3: Daydreaming is a MUST!
One of the first things I do when starting my goal setting is to take a couple hours to just dream. Allowing my imagination to run wild is the only way I can really focus on my reality. I know it sounds counterintuitive but trust me, allowing that child inside you to break free from all the ‘rules and restrictions’ we and the world has placed on us, is one of the quickest ways to discover your purpose and that allows you to get serious about your goals.
Assignment: Find a quiet place by yourself. For 5-10 minutes (longer if you have the time), just sit and be quiet. Let you’re thoughts come and go. If this is hard for you, talk a short, slow walk. When you feel you are relaxed get out some paper, crayons, markers or colored pens and ask yourself: What brings me joy? When was the last time I felt happy and relaxed? What was I doing? What things have you done that leave you wanting to do it again? If you get stuck, walk around your home and look for objects that stir you or remind of you of something that makes you smile. Use your markers or pens and just start writing things down. Do not critique or edit. Just draw and write. Let it out. Get a bigger piece of paper if necessary.
LESSON #4: Stop asking for or seeking permission from others.
One of my biggest breakthroughs has been the concept that no one else is responsible for my happiness. When I hand over responsibility for my happiness to someone else, I am giving them control of my life. Stop giving up control of your own life. It is absolutely okay and often necessary to discuss your ideas with someone else, however, no one, but you, gets to decide how big your dreams can be. The people who care about you may hesitate or discourage you from your dreams and their reasoning is not malicious but it is not actually about you. It’s about their own limiting beliefs and sometimes it’s about their fear of what might change.
Assignment: I want you to take a moment and just ask yourself, “What have I not done because someone told me not to, or hinted that they didn’t think it was possible?”
LESSON #5: Stop hiding your dreams.
Can I just be really transparent? For years I hid my goals and dreams away. I never talked about them especially with family and friends, for fear they would think I was ridiculous, or worse, confirm my own fears that I would fail. I was ashamed of my own dreams. Learning to share my goals and dreams with the right people has been a game changer. Here’s the thing…it’s important who and how. Who you share with needs to be someone who has earned that right. How you share is about you owning your goals and dreams and not telling someone just in the hopes of getting their approval.
Assignment: Take some time and think about the people in your life and write down the names of a few you trust.
Now, start having conversations with them about goals and dreams. Pay attention to how they react and most importantly, pay attention to your gut. Over time, you should be able to discover who you believe deserves to hear about your dreams and who will be receptive and encouraging.
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