Jake Peeking

Today was a beautiful day. Perfect weather, bright blue sky, and I had the day off so I was able to spend the morning with my youngest as he prepared for his first day of high school. It was a great morning. He was up early, he took a shower and had all of his things ready to go and still had an hour before we had to leave! I know…in a week I’ll be dragging him out of bed with only five minutes to spare, begging him to take a shower and frantically searching for the math book he misplaced the night before…so I’m soaking this up while I can! It was exactly what I wanted the morning to be, stress-free, fun and easy. We picked up breakfast and I dropped him off at school and even got and “I love you” as he jumped out of the Jeep.

With him on his way, I went mine and headed into town, grabbed a coffee and enjoyed a quiet morning scouting out some possible spots for a senior shoot coming up later next month. As I headed back home I decided to make a quick stop at the Art Center (another possible spot for a senior shoot) and sense I was that close I decided a walk down my favorite street was just the right addition to my day. I found a shady spot to park, grabbed my Ipod and started walking. I spotted a beautiful large leaf on the sidewalk in front of me so I stopped to pick it up and then…there they were…tears and a flood of memories from a previous walk almost 14 years ago on this same street.

That day Amannda, then only 7, and Jake, just a few months old, were with me. We collected several large leaves, a couple larger than Jake’s head, and once we had filled the bin on the bottom of his stroller, we took them all home to make impressions with crayons.

Today as I continued to walk and remember that day so many years ago, I couldn’t help but think about my kids, the paths they’ve chosen and are choosing. The mistakes I’ve made along the way as a mother…and the victories. It really is true what they say…when we are on our death beds I don’t believe we’re ever going to wish we had spent less time with out loved ones. I sincerely wish I had some of that time back, I wish I could take back some of those mistakes and I really wish I understood why I spend more time dwelling on what I got wrong instead of what I got right. Something to work on over the next four years.

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