Every year around this time I begin, what is for me, the daunting task of purchasing next years planner. However, last year I was introduced by a family member to a planner that I love, so this year all I had to do was decide which refill I liked best. With my new planner in hand I sat down with my colored markers and sticker books and started glancing though dates and months and instead of writing in birthdays and anniversaries like I normally do I began thinking about how quickly time is passing and how bad I can be at managing it sometimes. Instead of making a plan and following through, I find it much easier to make excuses; I worked really hard today and now I’m tired, I really want to sit with my family and watch several episodes of Big Bang, the weather is too nice to sit indoors and stare at a computer.
So far this year with life in general and starting my photography business, it has been wonderful and terrible, and crazy and slow, and fantastic and frustrating and to be honest, I’m loving it! Taking the good with the bad is teaching me more than I had imagined about myself and making me better in the process. I was reminded again of the farm that I spoke of in my last post. A year or two ago I never would have stopped and asked to take the pictures and everyday that I drive by and see the now completely cleared space where the barns and outbuildings use to stand, I’m so glad that I did. And it isn’t just about the barns and the passing of time and the changes that it brings. It’s about staring down pride and standing up for what I feel matters and following my heart instead of allowing my fearing of rejection or embarrassment to keep me from reaching out and asking for what I want.
“For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: ‘It might have been!'” From the poem Maud Muller by John Greenleaf Whittier.