I know a lot of people who do not like change. I am not one of those people. I seldom drive the same exact route to work. Until recently I enjoyed moving my furniture on a somewhat regular basis. I like having two different calendars every year because I get tired of using the same one.
I adjust to change quite easily, however, I’m finding as I embark on this new adventure that I’m struggling with accepting the unknown. For most of my working life I have enjoyed a relatively stable paycheck and schedule. It has been years since I’ve had a job with a schedule that changes every week and a paycheck that fluctuates according to that schedule. Taking a day off is no longer as easy as just taking a sick day that I’ve accrued and knowing that my pay will still be the same. Having all the responsibility of taking care of myself or my children squarely on my shoulders is not something that is foreign to me by any means but the responsibility of running a business…that is a whole new beast to me.
Now, I’m not only a photographer…I’m a marketer, accountant, social media expert, scheduler, student and a host of other titles I’m sure I have no idea about yet. Getting bogged down in all the to-do lists and keeping track of the tips and tricks of the trade is exciting but also exhausting.
This weekend I took a little break from it all and spent some much needed time with my son. After a long talk that I had not expected to have, I realized that I am not the only one with burdens to bear and a lot weighing on my mind. As we finished our heart-to-heart I was caught off guard by a sweet hug and a quiet whisper of “Thanks mom. I already feel better.” I hadn’t said much as he talked about his friends and the stress of school drama and the sometimes infuriating meanness of kids. I let him vent and explain the tales of the last few days he had struggled through. I do not envy kids. They really are faced with a ridiculous amount of pressure and stress even when they really do not seek to participate in the madness. I’m grateful for a son who has such a sweet heart and while I hate that his sense of doing what’s right can sometimes land him in the middle of a mess, I admire him all the more for it.
It also helps me keep things in perspective. I get to start my own business. That’s pretty cool!